Tuesday, 28 April 2020

-The Rose Letters- April 28, 2020

Keep it Real - Why Ghosting Sucks
How to Get Over It!

Hey Realers:

Thank you all for taking care of us and staying at home

Ghosting - the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

Have you been ghosted before? Well I have and man it is heartbreaking! You just want the pain of NOT knowing why, to just go away immediately! If not? Soon and, forever right?

Ghosting is when someone you believe cares about, whether a friend or romantic lover, does the disappearing act without any explanation – no phone call, email, text, kiss my butt NOTHING!

Ghosting can make you feel disrespected, used, and disposable; and kicked to the curb without knowing why. Also, it can fuck with your mental state by making you feel weird, broken, damaged, or just not feeling worthy

Why do men ghost?

Not to deal with awkwardness, confrontation, vulnerability, disappointment, and embarrassment

In doing my research, I also reached out to several of my male Realers and asked why men ghost women. I must say, gotta love men!

J-was just killing time, didn’t like the sex anymore, too much drama

E-tired of her, never really liked her, didn’t want to argue or debate

C- she lied, something I didn’t like, didn’t like the sex. But felt I should have confronted it and man up

T-interest faded, what I expected was no longer there. But I should have told her!

E-tried to change me, didn’t like her anymore, became an inconvenience, too much trouble

K-just got tired of her ass

F-men not wanting to face responses of what they received from the woman; they do not want to deal with the responses, therefore, they go MIA

D-emotional fear of being conquered, feeling discontent, lacked the ability to verbalize. But don’t believe men actually go ghost without it affecting them consciously

How do you move forward?

Remember my Realers, it ain’t nothing about you or your worthiness. It is about that he does not have the courage to deal with the discomfort of yours or his emotions. When one of my boos ended our relationship, he had the decency to send me a good-bye email. I had to read through the lines that he wanted out, but I got it, loud and clear and did not have to wonder is it over or not…Bottomline Realers, we owe people the time of day to tell them we are outta here. Whether it be communicated via text, email, letter, pigeon, phone, something-just do not ghost them-you are much more mature than that right?

Realers, know that you are much more than that. The ghoster was not on your groove line and someone better is coming your way. Keep your heart open!

Here are the take-a -ways and the link to read the details.

Ø What can you do if you’ve been ghosted? you may also want to do a gut check

Ø What can you do instead of ghosting? speak your truth… easier said than done, I know! 

Realers I have a blog now

See the link below and you may reply to the email too.

scroll down: The Rose Letters

In the meantime, Keep it Real!

-BTMB Contributor-
Toni Counts Rose


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